Abuse is NOT love...it's a form of control!

We all have been a victim or know someone who had been a victim of abuse. Hopefully this helps someone who is going through it right now.

Abuse does not have to be strictly physical! There are many forms of abuse like mental, oral and emotional. These can be far worse than physical because they lower your self esteem and self respect. They can also damage you as a person in the long run. I was both physically and mentally abused. After being beat for over a year and finally deciding to leave that relationship I ended up getting in a relationship where I was emotionally and mentally abused. Now going through this made me feel like I wasn't good enough or that I wouldn't find somebody that would appreciate me. This man used to always say "nobody will ever love you" "nobody will want a chick with all those kids" "be happy that I'm even with you cause I could be elsewhere" after awhile I started believing everything he would say. It got worse for me because I kept ALLOWING this man to mentally tear me down and when u allow that to happen you stop caring about EVERYBODY! I wasn't allowed to have friends...I barely could talk to my mom! I gave this man power like he was God! I was enslaved to a corrupt relationship out of fear he would be right about nobody wanting me! I knew he was out cheating on me but hell he did so much to me I didn't even care about that anymore...I was too busy focusing on how in the hell I was going to get out the relationship. This man broke more than my heart he damn near broke my soul! He fed me so much BS I didn't know what to think! My kids didn't deserve that treatment either...and I know somebody reading this will say oh ain't no dude gone ever do this or that to my kids...yea ok don't say that unless you are tested or put in the situation I was in because honey chile when you FEAR someone the decisions you make are so unreal!! That man treated us all like we were in some form of prison. We ate at a certain time, we talked at a certain time, we were in the house at a certain time and we had a time limit if we went somewhere. Oh yea it was bad! It had got to the point that I stopped buying nice shit because he would get mad and tear it up! Flat screens kicked in, cars damaged, computers tossed across the room, cell phones broke in half tables flipped over! Man shit got worse and worse over the years! God kept providing me a way out but being that this man had my mind I always ran back to him! After awhile you start to get really discouraged! Your friends will start saying he's no good (as if you didn't already know that) they will tell you to leave him they will say they are there for you...everything you need to hear but don't ACT UPON! See ppl of abuse DON'T wanna hear what they already know! We hoping y'all gone say "you want me to kill him" that's when we react like oh shoot I don't want them to get in trouble I gotta go! Real talk!! If you are in an abusive relationship (no matter which form) and you're still sleeping with that person....you aren't ready to leave them! Not at all! See I stopped having sex with my abuser (didn't make shit easier on me) but I stopped! We would lay in the same bed and I wouldn't touch him! Eventually I got the courage to say you know what you gotta go! Once I started calling the police on him...he knew right then it was over because it was something I'd NEVER done! Once he called my daughter a bitch....yea it was definitely over then! When I left him EVERYBODY kept saying oh you will be back with him blah blah well I'm here to say It's been almost 2yrs since I left him and I haven't looked back! So to all my doubters...I did it...I am free...I have my self love, my self respect, my peace, my Joy and most of all my happiness!!

So I wanna say to anyone going through it....you can't expect someone to respect you until you start respecting yourself! Abuse is NOT love...it's a form of control! The only man that will ever love us and never hurt us is GOD!! That's who we should worship...not somebody who was never intended for us!! May you all find peace and happiness because it's never too late to start living!