When children have to care for their mother or father

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had to care for your parents or your children may have to care for you because of a sudden illness? Many people are making that sacrifice to take of their parents because they may have become ill and can't do the things they used to do. It's only right for a child to make sure his/her parents gets the home care they deserve because they cared for you growing up!  When I found out my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer I can't explain the feeling I had. As bad as I HATED sitting with her through chemo....I did it! I would look around and see so many ppl my age or maybe older sitting with their mothers and fathers as they went through the chemo process! That had to be the hardest 4hrs a day throughout life itself! Then the after affects make you not even want to be around your mom or dad because it's like they are so down or tired all the time! I was glad when they said she was cancer free at her last appointment cause I don't know if I could handle watching my mom suffer! There shouldn't be a soul on this earth that wouldn't want to care for the person that cared for them their entire life! My mother and I have never had the mother daughter relationship like alot of others that I see....but you better believe if anything ever happened to that lady I can't say what it would do to me...and if you are a parent who's children have to look after you...make sure they know how much you appreciate them being there for you...it will help them to be respectful towards others and also keep YOU out of a nursing home later in life!! Lol!! So if you still have a mother or father that's able to talk... start calling him/her... ask them do they need anything or just call and simply say "thank you ma" cause we are only born with 1 set of parents!! #Salute

Why.......

Why do ppl sit up and look for bad things to happen to other ppl? Why can't ppl mind their own business? Why can't ppl be real enough to say they don't like you? Why are ppl still crying over things that don't concern them? Why did Facebook allow miserable folks access? Why can't those who really not about that life just say it? Why the main ones who post the most money don't got no crib? Why are females still fighting in the club? Why are single ppl looked down upon? Why won't these chicks spend time with they kids? Why are you still turning up after 30? Why are black men still called dogs? Why do most married ppl stop talking to the friends they once had? Why is there so much beef amongst individuals? Why do ppl try to hurt the ones that love them? Why are dudes still sagging their pants? Why do ppl say I don't like him/her but have no valid reason? Why are ppl who have a job working fast food getting laughed at? Why these kids having babies so young? Why is texting the new form of communication? Why are jails so full and colleges so empty? Why do ppl try and break up happy homes? Why do ppl assume friends of the opposite sex are sleeping together? Why is giving brains more important than actually using one? Why is gas at an all time high? Why are the clubs so full but parent teacher conferences are empty? Why does not going to church make you a bad person? Why are so many young black men dying? Why are friendships being torn apart over relationships? Why am I asking all these questions? BECAUSE Y'ALL OVERLOOKING THE REAL PROBLEMS!!!

Tomorrow isn't promised

What would you do if you woke up and found your kids lifeless??

Death is a part of life and there are ppl who think they live in a bubble! So I'm scrolling through Facebook and see the same ppl doing the same things! When will ppl get tired of getting drunk, being a booty call, being a so called gang banger, fighting, arguing, clubbing, getting high, having kids with no stability or finances to take care of them? What time can you actually say you spend with your children? What memories can your children tell their children about their childhood? So many ppl are dying around us and so many ppl are not caring about anything other than the nightlife! We were all put here for a reason! God has a plan for each of our lives...but are we following his path? When I leave this earth I want to be able to go knowing I did what I was called to do! I don't want ppl to remember me by being someone who they saw in the club EVERY WEEKEND or a mother who put her kids last! I wanna leave here knowing that each day I put a smile on someone's face or gave them an encouraging word! Time is ticking and the only person stopping us from doing what we need to do is OURSELVES! I thank God everyday my eyes open and my limbs work...I might get mad at certain things but I'm learning to overlook alot of things! Everyday I ask MYSELF what can I do different to make a better tomorrow...my answer NO COMPLAINTS! I try to spend most of my time with my kids because I want them to have memories of their mother being there for them!! I don't want my kids saying my mom always going out...oh no...I want them to actually MISS me when I depart from this world!!! Kids are a blessing from God and I want to treat them as the blessing they are to show my appreciation to God for TRUSTING and LOVING me enough to know I CAN HANDLE IT! CAN YOU???

You're only hurting the child

This might make some ppl suck they teeth or turn they lips up but guess what THAT'S WHAT THE TRUTH DOES! I have a very big problem with women who have kids by men who actually WANT to be in their Childs life. Why do these women feel like they can use that child as a pawn to get what they want from the father? I'm gone tell you why CAUSE THEY BITTER...that man ain't trying to be with her no more and moved on. This is where the BM DRAMA comes in....she wanna tell him he can't see his child because she don't want her baby around the new woman or whatever....well I'm here to say GET OVER IT! I am a stepmother to 9 children and I have NEVER treated then any different from my own children! Although I'm not with ANY of their fathers I am still very supportive of everything they all do. My kids fathers don't deal with NO BS from me cause 1 it causes stress to me 2 my kids are allowed to form their OWN opinions of them and 3 I don't bash my bds AT ALL! I laid down with them and at that time they was ALL THAT so what I look like ruining around saying oh he ain't ish or tell my kids fk him....nah I did the MATURE thing and decided if I'm going to be a single mom I would raise my kids to where their fathers would be period to have a child with me. I have seen so much drama from bms it's ridiculous! Then the same ones yelling oh he ain't ish be still laying up with him.....it shouldn't have to take a man that wants to be a part of his Childs life to have to go through the motions with his unstable Babymama! Let these men see they kids! So what if he don't got money to support them financially TIME is way more important than MONEY...you can't create memories with MONEY! Re evaluate yourself and ask WHY ARE U ACTING LIKE AN IMBECILE! My father DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME FINANCIALLY but I wish he was here cause our phone conversations meant so much to me. My stepfather (Dennis Norman) raised me and as I got older I realized he had WAY MORE BIOLOGICAL kids besides my Lil brother! Yes I do call Pookie and Anthony my brothers and Jjuane my Lil sister....no I don't know the situation with why or if he wasn't part of their lives like he was for me and my brothers. But one thing I will say IF IT WAS DRAMA BETWEEN MY MOM AND THEIR MOMS I DIDN'T KNOW OF IT! I respect my stepdad still to this day for stepping up and taking care of kids that wasn't his and I respect my father for letting him! I didn't find out until I was about 12 that Dennis wasn't my biological father.....never changed a thing tho! He is the reason I adore my stepkids....STOP PUTTING BAD THOUGHTS INTO THESE KIDS MIND about their fathers! Allow him to come around and BE a father! U didn't make the kids on your own so let these fathers be there! Your child will only grow up resenting you for keeping their father away! I guess this is why I don't have drama with any of mines cause ion be worried bout what they CAN'T do....I value what they CAN! I can only tell you how it's not affecting you....it's affecting those children.....stop acting a fool and let them kids be around the other part of their family!! I lost my damn train of thought now....so I gotta close this blog out....but let me say this YOU WASN'T TRIPPING WHEN HE WAS DICKIN U DOWN FROM THE FRONT BACK LEFT AND RIGHT!!!

The tongue has the power of life and death

We all do it...we all speak things that we shouldn't...negative things! This blog will hopefully be one of my most powerful blogs to my readers because I'm writing this during my fast! By the time it's introduced to my readers my fast will be over.

I am fasting for more strength to press forward, for God to take all the negativity I feel or think out of me, guidance and just overflow my faith and perseverance! I am also dedicating my fast for 2 friends who need situations turned around! So during this I decided to condition my mind on areas that I need to improve on which my biggest thing is speaking things into existence. We all speak negative things without thinking about what we are saying...I read this book called "Deliver me from speaking negatively" and it's VERY GOOD! It talked about how we plant a seed and what we plant manifests in our lives. This is true! How many times have you said "I'm broke" or "I'm getting sick" those are seeds! So instead of saying "I'm broke" what needs to be said is "God is the supplier of all my needs..God will supply me with everything I need according to his riches in glory" see now we have planted a positive seed that will produce a positive manifestation! Just like the getting sick....don't speak it into existence  .instead say "Sickness I resist you in the name of Jesus and by his stripes I am healed and made whole" What you speak is what will become. You have to have faith in your life! But don't get it twisted...some ppl have faith but still worry....FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD! I don't worry about ANYTHING! Prime example...I got a gas Bill the other day in the amount of 514.00...now I'm pretty sure most ppl will panic seeing that...nope I didn't I threw it to the end of the couch and said "Jesus paid it all" I spoke what I saw! The Bible tells us "Call forth those that be not as if it were" I'm learning to speak things into existence. Just because it doesn't happen right then...trust God that he is already preparing the seed you sowed! This is where your faith comes into play! Stand on it and don't move from it! The enemy will try to come in and say things to make you doubt the work of God! The enemy puts fear in you...that fear produces doubt...and doubt kills your faith! But I learned a formula from reading the book I mentioned and that's  MEDITATION +DECLARATION = MANIFESTATION...what u THINK and what you SPEAK ...is what will BECOME! So we need to start speaking the life we want INTO EXISTENCE! If it's financially SPEAK FINANCES...if it's marriage....SPEAK MARRIAGE...if it's employment...SPEAK EMPLOYMENT! God WILL bless you! When people speak negative over you remember NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER! So either say nothing or use the weapon of God's WORD! I am also practicing what I'm preaching....I truly believe in myself that I will be a better person and do what God is calling me to do! I really do believe in all the readers as well. I do know there are some readers who remain anonymous because they are scared of what people might say about them if they try to change! DON'T LET NOBODY KEEP YOU FROM YOUR BLESSINGS!!! Get your blessings because God loves you for having a heart of WANTING to do what he calls you to do! THESE STREETS AIN'T IT NO MORE! Different actions produce different results...and I am working to do things different! So as I close this blog out I just want to say I pray that you all be blessed abundantly and know that the devil has no room to shake a child of God!! Remember the tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat it's fruit...What u put out is what you will take in!!!!

I'd rather struggle than get a welfare check

Let me explain to those that swear they know but they really don't....through my blogs u can see that my life hasn't always been easy. I haven't always had the finer things in life...am I complaining NO....when I laid down and decided to bring 4 lives into this world I made a decision to put their needs FIRST! I have never been the type to try and keep up with the latest trends or whatever. If I don't got it I don't got it call me whatever you want but when it comes to bills and my kids I'd rather do without! Let me explain something the last time I bought myself a pair sneakers was 2009 the last time I actually sat in a salon was 2012 the last time I bought some heels was my birthday last year (and they were not new) everything I have in my house is goodwill bought....my cell phone was bought in 2011....last time I purchased (meaning owned) a car was 2009 (broke down in 2011/12)...so before u go around saying what I DON'T HAVE please understand MY KIDS GO WITHOUT! Hell yea I shop at Walmart or goodwill for my youngest kids...my older ones have hustles to provide themselves with "the latest fashions" one does hair...the other one works....I do all I can to see that my kids ain't looking crazy....my bills paid and my kids are straight...I can worry bout me later! I wish I would be seen in a club or out spending money knowing a Bill needs to be paid or my kids have activity fees that need met! Miss me with all that! Yep I'm a boring person....nope ion go nowhere....yep I be looking a hot ass mess...and if I do look decent it's cause my daughter did my hair and Nisha let me borrow her shirt....yep say what you want about me but guess what MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER!! So just know that when I get to the point that I'm actually "LIVING IT UP" I still won't be blowing money....cause long as I got 4 kids u better believe THEY GONE COME UP BEFORE I DO!! So instead of criticizing....understand I do this cause I chose to struggle rather than have these TAXPAYERS take care of me and mine!!! Some ppl get that Lil check and don't use it for anything but the club hair nails and a tired dude that got another chick!! So imma end this blog with this......I don't watch nobody else plate but my kids....cause I will be damned if they starve!!!

Forgiving isn't always easy

Man imma try not to cry while writing this because I have so much to be thankful for!

It's been a situation (well 2) that has been eating away at me for quite awhile and I hope this reaches the right person! I was a dear friend to you and you stabbed me in the back in the worst possible way....not once but twice! I really have been praying on these situations and I really did think I forgave you but something deep inside me still doesn't feel like I have! There was NOTHING I wouldn't do for you and u left a very loyal friend hanging on a wing and a prayer! I could have betrayed you so many times.. even NOW I could but the person I am won't allow me to do it! See you do things without thinking how it will affect people because you're so busy thinking about yourself when had I known I would be going through everything I'm going through now I woulda just left you hanging and struggling trying to come up! BUT THE FRIEND IN ME DIDN'T DO THAT! I can't believe the rumor u put out there about me...that's what hurts the most because you know that shit is so untrue! See me I could tell ALL YOUR BUSINESS but for what? What's that going to do besides put me in a category with the rest of ppl who get mad and then wanna expose!? Nah Shorty it ain't in my blood to do that.....I was woman enough to come to you but u got mfs out here thinking some whole other shit about FALSE TRUTHS! It's a shame that I have let this shit go on this long! You can't even be woman enough to call me and apologize about ANYTHING! That's because YOU NEVER GAVE A FUCK! I truly deeply sincerely forgive you....but it just doesn't feel like I am doing it right! I swear with everything in me I have asked the good Lord to help me...so why doesn't it feel like the forgiveness is helping! Why do I feel like I hate you when I know I don't? Why do I feel like I did something wrong when I know I didn't? Forgiving you was harder than forgiving the man I let tear me down....but u....I trusted you....if u needed it I had it for u or I damn sure made a way to get it for u without expecting anything back because THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO! Now you prancing around town having a damn good time....well u wanna know what I been doing since you stopped speaking because now u found "love"....I been fighting to keep a roof over my kids head...I been in this house paying disconnect after disconnect notices because I have other obligations that I've fallen behind on because I thought I could do this on my own! I CAN'T! Jobs are turning me away....I damn near lost my gun permit and it's other shit that I won't even speak on because it's too much! Oh I hope u had an awesome Christmas too....cause u know what...my kids didn't get to enjoy it this year! So I pray u read this and understand the shit I been dealing with while u were out TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME AND LYING! I could destroy your whole damn life with THE TRUTH but you know me so well u know that imma dust this off....keep my head high....and forever keep my grass cut low because forgiveness isn't easy at all! I pray you be blessed because this didn't kill me it only made me STRONGER!!!

(I know I cussed while using holy words but y'all gone have to pray for me)

For the love of my kids

I have to dedicate this blog to my babies Zanisha Zanae Zakira &Za'vion because they are my motivation to never give up!!

Y'all think I'm crazy lol...man my kids are so hilariously funny. They always give me a really good show! I'm glad that God blessed me with these 4 beautiful children because I really don't know what my life would be like without them! From the arguing between Nay Nay and Zay everyday down to Nisha forever asking Kira to cook her something....my day is NEVER dull! I am very proud of all of them...they get very good grades, they love church and they will bust out singing a gospel song before a rap song! My sons favorite gospel song must be "I won't complain" because he sings it EVERYDAY! It makes my heart skip cause I didn't think he knew the words to that song lol! Now Nisha she's the cheerleader....we have to hear her cheer everyday all day and even make her sisters do stunts! She said they "WILL" be cheerleaders because she said so! Lol alrighty then! Ok so Nay Nay she's the singer....oh that child got some vocals on her....sometimes I give her that look like girl if u don't shut up cause she will wreck ya nerves some days lol but I do enjoy to hear her use the gift God gave her!! Now Kira.....oooh she used to be so innocent....ooh that chile acts just like her Markham family....Good gawd her attitude is a hot mess...I don't know what her daddy did while she was with him for the summer but he created a monster lol! She has plans on being a chef! She's a really good cook...she will fry some fish that will make u smack yo mommas momma!! Real talk! But we have alot of fun....especially now that they are older and Nisha is about to be on her own. I spend more time with my kids than anything. They are my world...I love then with everything in me! They really made me proud this past Christmas when they woke up and said mom it's ok that you couldn't get us nothing long as we got a roof over our head and lights gas and water...we got a Christmas! That really touched my heart cause they know I will go to the ends of the earth to get them what they NEED because their grades earn them their WANTS! I love them....I can't express that enough....I'm glad we have a great relationship with each other and no matter the situation I ALWAYS yell at them first then we talk about it later! Lol! Some days they will try and act like we friends but they know ion be playing all the time! But overall I love my family they complete me...and this is why I guess I'm not pressed about having a man because my kids need to be ready for that and I want then to remain happy! They are the reason I don't give up on trying to get out this struggle! Once I make it out everything will be a whole lot better for us....I may not have a damn thing....but I got ALL MY KIDS and that's enough riches for me!!!

So to my kids....no matter where u go in life just know that I support you 100% even with your decisions that may make me raise my brow because it's your life... I can only hope I did my job as a great mother to see u all make very good choices in your lives!! I love y'all!!!

EVERYBODY IS A SINNER THAT SINS DIFFERENTLY FROM OTHERS

This blog may make some people mad but I am only coming with MY TRUTH....I am a very spiritual person..I believe in The father the spirit and the holy ghost...I do believe Jesus died for us to live! There are many people in my shoes who has a heart that beats for the love of God but because we haven't gotten our lives in order the way God wants us to...we are constantly ridiculed, called hypocrites and look down upon. Let me say this "He without sin cast the first stone" Every holy person who walks the walk or even talks the talk STILL SIN in some way shape or form..whether it be BUYING FOOD STAMPS, FINDING SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BUY THEM, FINDING AN ITEM AT THE STORE KNOWING IT'S NOT THE PRICE YOU TOLD THE CASHIER, JUDGING OTHERS, TELLING PPL WHAT GOD DON'T LIKE,INTERFERING IN OTHER PPL RELATIONSHIP, ARGUING, BACKBITING, SMOKING, DRINKING, GAMBLING,SEX OUT OF WEDLOCK, GOSSIPING and the list goes on...I get so tired of hearing "That's not the godly way" I know that what I do isn't always pleasing to God which is why I am TRYING to change for the better! Change is VERY hard for us that don't know the right direction. I'm constantly asking God to guide me and I must say he has brought me from a MIGHTY LONG WAY! It's the folks that are suppose to be living right that seem to try and be the ones that change the sinner! IT'S NOT THEIR JOB it's GODS JOB! As long as I have the love I have for him and I stand on my faith THERE IS NOTHING MAN CAN TELL ME about my walk with God!! Sometimes folks like myself don't want to go to church every Sunday especially if the church doesn't give me that push to keep coming back!! I'd rather sit home get my understanding of how I'm suppose to be out my own Bible on my own time! I pray everyday and I am forever thanking God for all he's done for me! Instead of the "Saved" folks pushing us away from our journey...how bout holding our hand and keeping us encouraged!! As long as God knows my heart that's all I want! I was raised by a very big praying family so I know what to do....sometimes I backslide but God knows I will finally get myself together. So before one throws stones at my life pray for me first and PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR HOUSE WON'T SHATTER IF I THROW THEM BACK because EVERYBODY IS A SINNER WE JUST SIN DIFFERENTLY!!!!

Some females have no morals

I don't see how females do it! How can you meet a man and just automatically start bringing him in your house around your kids?!? That's so disrespectful ESPECIALLY if you have daughters! I tell a dude up front....oh no you can't come to my crib my kids home....or if they do they gotta stay outside and I will come out! These chicks meet a dude, go out with him for a few days and BAM he her kids new stepdaddy! Smdh.... dude I was fkin with NEVER met mine...FUCK THAT! It ain't that damn serious to have a damn man laid up under you and around yo damn kids like you been knowing him for years!! Even dudes I just talk to ain't allowed to know mine but it's like some of these dudes don't even care or have respect cause they be like shid what time they go to bed.....smdh....I feel like any woman who constantly change men is only sending her children the wrong signal! Whether she's just sexing him or in a relationship with him....it's so wrong and it shows you have no morals or respect for yourself!!! Them be the same dumb ass chicks that "take care of they dude" rather than their kids or bills.....but the same way you get em is the same way ya lose em....MY KIDS ARE TOO PRECIOUS FOR ME TO INTRODUCE THEM TO ANYBODY WHO AIN'T SLIDING A RING ON MY FINGER! *Not Happening*

Are you a damn good woman?

I see it all the time and also have been the victim of being A DAMN GOOD WOMAN....I don't understand how a man can disrespect the leading lady in his life to the point where she feels she needs to keep validating his actions! I used to be that woman as well...you know the one that he hurt because it made him feel good about himself, the one he would tear down just to build himself up you know the one who loved him inside and out!! Ladies we need to be and do better as women! We don't need a man to validate anything in our lives! The way we build him up we need to build ourselves! We need to break that fear of holding onto longevity and everything we put into the relationship and start learning to be HAPPY ALONE! Once we give a man POWER to control our mind and our emotions we give up our self love, respect and understanding of what it actually means to BE a good woman! We need to stop allowing these men to treat us as if THEY ARE WHO WE WORSHIP! This is the problem in society today....some of these men are inspired by what they see on TV or how they see their other friends treat their woman and they start to incorporate that type of lifestyle into the relationship they have at home! Which brings up the term "ALL MEN ARE DOGS" or "AIN'T NO GOOD MEN OUT HERE" I disagree with that....there are good GOD FEARING men out here and you will know them by the way they do things...how they were raised....it's in their talk...their walk EVERYTHING about him will scream GOOD MAN! But we be too busy trying to fix WHAT'S ALREADY BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR and letting that "GOOD MAN" stand by and watch! Once a man makes your SOUL BLEED and cry out...the relationship is way past over! Things will only get worse! So until you remove yourself from a man who belittles you, disrespects you, disrespects your role in his life YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE TREATED LIKE A "DOG HE TRAINED"..But always forgive him it's the only way you will be able to pick yourself up and move forward!! A good woman knows her worth and if that means spending years by herself in order for a good man to find and appreciate her.....then so be it!! DO YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH?